In many cultures, people aren’t encouraged to talk about sex openly or seriously. When the topic comes up, it often turns into jokes or gossip. But that’s not real sexual communication. Those jokes can sometimes hide deeper feelings - like embarrassment, shame, or fear of being judged.

在很多文化里，我们并没有被鼓励去认真、坦诚地谈论“性”。一提到性，话题常常变成玩笑或八卦。但那并不是真正的性沟通。很多时候，这些玩笑只是掩盖了更深层的感受—-比如尴尬、羞耻，或害怕被评判

Some people carry many questions or frustrations about their sex life, but they simply don’t know how to start the conversation.

有些人心里其实有很多疑问，也在性生活中遇到困扰，却不知道怎么开口

When I first started learning about sexual health, I couldn’t even say words like “vagina” or “penis” without feeling extremely awkward. I would avoid them completely.

我一开始也是这样。连“阴道”“阴茎”这些词都说不出口，总是刻意回避

But over time, with more learning and practice, it became easier. The more familiar it felt, the more relaxed I became — and honestly, exploring sexuality even started to feel interesting and empowering.

但随着了解越来越多，我反而变得越来越放松。熟悉之后，那种羞涩慢慢减少，甚至开始觉得探索身体和性，其实是有趣而且有力量的

So how can you slowly practise becoming more comfortable talking about sex?

那我们可以怎么慢慢练习，让自己更自然地谈性呢？

Step 1: Reflect on what you were taught growing up

第一步：回顾你小时候学到的“性知识”

Did your parents ever talk about sex? Were they open, avoidant, or overly strict about it?

父母有没有谈过性？他们是开放的，避而不谈，还是态度严肃甚至带着警告？

How did your friends talk about sex? Through real conversations, or mostly jokes?

你身边的朋友是怎么谈性的？是真诚交流，还是只用玩笑带过？

What beliefs or messages about sex did you absorb as a child? Which of them are still influencing you today?

你小时候听过哪些关于性的说法？你曾经相信过什么？这些观念现在还影响着你吗？

Step 2: Practise saying sexual words out loud

第二步：练习说出生理词汇

Words like vagina, penis, intercourse, oral sex, masturbation.

比如：阴道、阴茎、性交、口交、自慰

Try saying them in front of a mirror. Record yourself and listen back. Or practise with someone you trust.

可以对着镜子练习，说给自己听；也可以录音，再听听自己的声音；或者找一个你信任的人练习说

If it feels too hard at first, begin with softer or playful terms you’re more comfortable with, and gradually move towards clearer language.

如果一开始说不出口，可以先用你比较舒服的称呼，然后慢慢过渡到更准确的词汇

Step 3: Talk about sex with someone you trust

第三步：找一个你信任的人，一起练习谈性

Practising with a partner can deepen intimacy. You can explore each other’s thoughts, expectations and feelings in a safe way.

和伴侣练习，是一个很好的方式。你们可以在安全的氛围里探索彼此的想法、期待和感受

You don’t need a partner. A close friend — someone you feel safe with — can also be a good place to start.

没有伴侣也没关系。一个值得信任的朋友，也可以成为练习的起点

Remember:

别忘了：

There’s no need to force yourself. If you feel overwhelmed, pause and return to it later.

所有练习都不需要勉强。如果觉得不舒服，可以暂停，等准备好再继续

You may never feel 100% ready — and that’s okay. We often grow by doing, not by waiting.

没有一个“完全准备好”的完美时刻。很多成长，都是在实践中慢慢发生的

Talking about sex isn’t about performing or proving maturity. It’s about self-understanding and building genuine connection.

谈性，不是为了表现，也不是为了显得成熟。它是为了更了解自己，也为了建立更真实的连接

Even wanting to talk about sex is already a brave step.

你愿意尝试去谈性，本身就是一种勇气