Have you ever heard someone say, “Foreplay is optional anyway”?

你有没有听人说过：“前戏其实可有可无”？

In my experience, though, many sexual difficulties actually begin here - foreplay is too short, rushed, or completely missing.

但在我的经验里，很多问题恰恰出在这里-前戏太短、太急，或者根本没有

Some people think foreplay is just an “optional extra” in sex. But for many couples I’ve worked with, a lack of foreplay often becomes the silent reason behind frustration, emotional disconnection, or fading desire.

有些人觉得前戏只是性爱里的“附加选项”。但在我接触过的很多伴侣中，缺少前戏往往成了挫败感、情感疏离，甚至欲望下降的隐形原因

So, is foreplay actually important?

聊聊“前戏”到底重不重要？

Not every sexual encounter needs a long, carefully planned build-up. Sex shouldn’t feel rigid or scripted.

当然不是每次性爱都要有精心铺陈的前戏。性爱本来就不应该太死板

Sometimes a quickie is exactly what works — fast, playful, spontaneous. Especially for parents with young kids, finding any private moment at all can feel like a miracle. There’s no need for perfection.

有时候想来一场“快餐式”亲密，节奏快一点、轻松一点，也完全没问题。特别是家里有小孩的父母，能有时间亲热已经很不容易了，哪还有精力讲究太多仪式感

But when foreplay is consistently skipped or rushed, over time it may lead to:

但如果前戏总是被忽略，时间久了，可能会出现这些情况：

1. Difficulty getting aroused
   进入状态变得困难

2. Feeling emotionally disconnected during sex
   性生活中缺少情感连结

3. Feeling uncared for or unseen
   觉得不被在意、不被重视

4. Gradually losing interest in sex
   慢慢对性生活提不起兴趣

So, how important is foreplay to you?

那你自己觉得前戏重不重要？

Ask yourself:

试着问自己：

“On a scale of 0 to 10, how important is foreplay in my sexual experience?”
(0 = not important at all, 10 = extremely important)

“在 0 到 10 之间，前戏对我来说有多重要？”
（0 = 完全不重要，10 = 非常非常重要）

This isn’t a test with right or wrong answers. It’s simply a way to understand yourself better — and to make communication with your partner easier.

这不是一道有对错的题目。它只是帮助你更清楚地认识自己，也方便你和伴侣沟通

Here’s an example of how using numbers can make conversations easier:

举个例子，量化沟通其实很有帮助：

A: “You know how much I love bubble tea, right? For me, it’s a solid 10 out of 10 important.”
A：“你知道我多爱喝奶茶吧？对我来说，奶茶就是 10 分重要。”

B: “For me it’s more like a 5. I care more about health — that’s a 10 in my book.”
B：“我倒觉得奶茶只有 5 分吧，我更在乎健康，健康在我心里是 10 分。”

A: “So what about foreplay in our sex life — how important is it to you?”
A：“那你说我们俩的性爱里，前戏对你有多重要？”

B: “Maybe a 5.”
B：“可能是 5 分吧。”

A: “For me it’s closer to an 8. Foreplay helps me feel cared for and emotionally connected.”
A：“我可能是 8 分。前戏会让我感觉你在乎我，也让我更有连结感。”

B: “Oh, I didn’t realise it meant that much to you.”
B：“原来对你那么重要，我之前还以为没差。”

To wrap up:
最后总结一下：

Foreplay isn’t mandatory, but for many people it deepens emotional connection and enhances pleasure.
前戏不是“必须”的，但它确实能让很多人的性体验更愉悦、更有情感连结

There’s no one-size-fits-all formula. The best rhythm is the one both of you feel good about.
要不要前戏、前戏要多长，没有统一标准，关键是两个人都觉得舒服

Using a simple 0–10 scale can make conversations about sex clearer and less awkward.
用 0–10 的方式量化前戏的重要性，可以让表达需求变得更轻松

May you find your own rhythm in intimacy - from foreplay to aftercare - without pressure, just connection.
愿你们都能找到属于自己的节奏，在每一场亲密里，从前戏到后戏，都不将就，只求真实的连结