22 June 2025
"We just had sex. Then Ta rolled over and went straight to sleep."
I’ve heard this so many times. People often focus on the act of sex — how to do it better, how to please their partner, how long it lasted. But few talk about what happens after.
“啪完了,Ta就倒头睡了。”
我总是听到类似的故事。很多人纠结的是“做爱”的表现,比如做得好不好、能不能取悦对方、持续多久。但是很少有人讨论“之后”发生了什么。
What is Aftercare?
什么是“后戏”/事后护理?
You might have heard of foreplay (前戏), but aftercare is the warm-down, the emotional dessert. It’s what happens after sex — the hugs, the affirming words, the shared silence — that helps people feel safe, cared for, and connected.
大家都听说过“前戏”,但“后戏”呢?其实“后戏”就像是一顿大餐后的甜点,是性爱之后的温柔收尾。一个拥抱、一句肯定的话、一个安静的陪伴,都能让人感到被在乎、被照顾、被连接。
For many people, sex brings up vulnerability. Especially in queer, neurodivergent, or trauma-affected communities, feeling emotionally safe afterwards is just as important as the act itself.
对很多人来说,性爱带来的不仅是身体的亲密,还有情感上的脆弱。特别是在酷儿群体、神经多样性人群、或有创伤经历的人群中,性爱之后的“安全感”同样重要。
Why Is Aftercare Important?
为什么“后戏”很重要?
Builds safety and trust. Ta will feel loved, not just used.
Helps emotional regulation. Sex can bring up strong feelings — joy, sadness, fear. Aftercare helps you land gently.
Strengthens your bond. You’re saying: “I see you. I still care.”
建立安全感和信任感。 让对方感到“我是被爱的”,不是“被用完的”。
帮助情绪调节。 性爱容易激起强烈的情绪:快乐、忧伤、恐惧。后戏可以帮助你慢慢“降落”。
加深关系的连接。 你在用行动说:“我看见你,我还在乎你。”
Ways to Do Aftercare
怎么进行“后戏”?
1. Cuddling 拥抱
After sex, just hold each other. Lie in bed, sit together, or even stand and embrace. It’s simple, but powerful.
啪啪啪结束后,抱抱对方。无论是躺着、坐着、站着,只要把对方搂进怀里,都会很有力量。
2. Gentle Touch 温柔触摸
Touch each other’s hair, face, or back. It doesn't need to be sexual. Skin-to-skin contact helps regulate nervous systems.
轻轻抚摸对方的头发、脸颊、后背。不是为了引起情欲,而是传达温柔和亲密。
3. Silent Presence 安静陪伴
Sometimes, words aren’t needed. Just lie beside Ta. Let your body warmth speak.
有时候,不需要说话。静静地躺在对方身边,让身体的温度传达你的关心。
4. Positive Words 正向语言
Say something real and kind:
“That felt really special.”
“I loved being close to you.”
“I hope you felt good too.”
说一些真诚的赞美,比如:
“刚刚真的很特别。”
“我很喜欢跟你那么亲近。”
“希望你也觉得愉悦。”
Avoid fake praise or criticism. Be specific and gentle.
不要说空话,也不要批评。真诚且温柔地表达。
5. Shared Shower 一起洗澡
If both of you like it, showering together can be sensual and soothing. Use this moment to care for each other’s body, not just clean.
如果你们都喜欢的话,一起洗澡也是一种后戏。慢慢冲洗彼此的身体,享受亲密,不只是清洁。
6. Space to Decompress 给对方一点空间
Not everyone wants closeness straight away. Respect that too. Just let Ta know you’re still here.
有些人在性爱后需要一点个人空间,也请尊重这一点。你只要让Ta知道:我还在这里。
What Aftercare Isn’t
什么不是“后戏”?
It’s not a trick to get sex again.
It’s not a performance.
It’s not just for kinky people.
不是为了“下一次”再做而做的套路;
不是“演”出来的样子;
不是只有BDSM群体才需要的东西。
Aftercare is about respect. It’s about mutual care.
“后戏”是关于尊重,是彼此之间的照顾和连接。
Final Thoughts
最后想说的话
There’s no one-size-fits-all rule. You don’t need to force it. But if you want your relationship — or just your hookup — to feel better and more human, try some aftercare.
“后戏”没有统一标准,不需要勉强,但如果你希望你的关系、或者约炮体验更好、更有温度,不妨试试看。
Sometimes the most intimate thing isn’t sex. It’s what you do afterwards.
有时候,最亲密的不是性爱本身,而是结束后的那个拥抱。