Stage One: Focus on Your Partner’s Experience

第一阶段：关注对方的感受

Gently and curiously explore your partner’s hand with your own. Use your fingertips to trace, circle, stroke or lightly press. Imagine you have never seen a human hand before, as if you are discovering it for the first time.

用你的手轻轻地、带着好奇心去探索对方的手。可以用指尖轻扫、画圈、抚摸或轻压。试着假装你从未见过“人类的手”，像第一次认识它一样去观察

In this stage, your full attention is on your partner.

在这个阶段，你的注意力完全放在对方身上

What is the temperature of their skin?

Ta们的皮肤是什么温度？

Are there areas that feel rough or soft?

有没有粗糙或柔软的部分？

How are they responding? Do they seem tense, relaxed, amused or curious?

对方有什么反应？是紧张、放松、开心，还是好奇？

Try to stay present with a mindful attitude. If your mind wanders, simply notice it and gently bring your attention back without judgement.

试着带着正念去感受当下。如果你的大脑跑偏，只需察觉，然后温柔地把注意力带回来，不需要责备自己

Stage Two: Focus on Your Own Experience

第二阶段：关注自己的感受

Continue touching, but this time shift your attention inward.

继续触碰，但这一次把注意力放回自己身上

You are not doing this to serve or impress your partner. You are observing what feels good or meaningful to you.

你不是为了“服务对方”或表现自己，而是去观察哪些触感让你舒服或有感觉

What kinds of touch make you feel calm or connected?

哪种触感让你觉得安心或有连结感？

Is there a rhythm or pressure that feels especially pleasant?

有没有某种节奏或力度让你特别喜欢？

You can speak your feelings out loud, or practise using the communication phrases mentioned earlier, such as “I’d like you to…”, “I enjoy it when…”, or “I’m not really comfortable with…”.

你也可以把自己的感觉说出来，或者练习之前提到的沟通句式，比如“我希望你……”、“我喜欢你这样……”、“我不太想……”等

If you notice that certain expressions feel especially difficult to say, that may be an area worth exploring gently.

如果你发现某些表达特别难说出口，那可能正是值得慢慢练习的地方

Stepping slightly outside your comfort zone can open the door to deeper pleasure and greater freedom in intimacy.

适度走出舒适圈，可能会带来更多愉悦，也带来更多在亲密关系中的自由感