In my clinical work, I tend to see fewer male clients than female clients. I genuinely hope more men feel safe enough to walk into a sex therapy room.

在我的咨询工作中，男性来访者确实比女性少一些。我真心希望更多男性能安心走进性咨询室

However, many of the men I work with — and those seen by my supervisors — bring up early ejaculation at some point.

但无论是我接触到的男性，还是导师接到的男性来访者，很多都会提到早泄的困扰

It is often difficult to talk about. Eventually, though, most do open up.

这往往很难启齿，但最终大多数人还是会说出来

Many feel they cannot tell their partners. In casual dating situations, the fear of embarrassment or humiliation can even lead them to avoid intimacy altogether.

很多人觉得不能告诉伴侣。在约会或短期关系中，他们更担心被嘲笑或羞辱，甚至因此回避亲密关系

What Is Early Ejaculation?

什么是早泄？

Early ejaculation is commonly defined as ejaculation within about one minute of penetration, especially when it happens consistently and causes distress.

早泄通常指插入后约一分钟内射精，尤其是在反复发生并造成困扰的情况下

Roughly one-third of men experience it at some point in their lives. The real number may be higher, as many do not seek help.

大约三分之一的男性在人生某个阶段会经历早泄。真实比例可能更高，因为很多人不会求助

Early Ejaculation Self-Assessment

早泄自我评估问卷

These questions refer to your typical sexual experiences, not occasional incidents.

以下问题基于“最常见的情况”，而不是偶发事件。

(Scoring remains the same as you wrote; I will keep structure concise.)

Score Guide:
8 or below: Unlikely early ejaculation
9–10: Possible
11 or above: Likely early ejaculation
For reference only — consult a doctor or sex therapist.

评分参考：
8分或以下：可能没有早泄
9–10分：可能存在
11分及以上：可能为早泄
仅供参考，请咨询医生或性治疗师

The Psychological Impact

心理影响

Many men equate early ejaculation with being “bad at sex.”

很多男性把早泄等同于“性能力差”

Self-esteem can take a significant hit.

自尊心往往受到很大打击

Pornography can increase pressure. Scenes that last 30–60 minutes are often edited and unrealistic, yet they shape expectations.

色情影片往往经过剪辑，不真实，但会塑造不切实际的期待

Often, the deeper issue is not finishing quickly — it is what happens afterward.

真正的问题往往不是“太快”，而是之后发生了什么

After ejaculation, many men enter a refractory period and temporarily lose erection. If intimacy stops completely at that point, partners may feel emotionally disconnected.

射精后男性会进入不应期，暂时失去勃起。如果亲密就此结束，伴侣可能会感到被忽视

Sex Does Not End at Ejaculation

性行为不等于射精结束

There are many ways to continue intimacy after orgasm:

高潮之后仍然可以：

• Use hands
• Use oral stimulation
• Use toys
• Kiss, cuddle, connect
• Take a short break and resume later

• 用手
• 用口
• 使用情趣用品
• 亲吻、拥抱、连接
• 休息后再继续

Disappointment often comes from unmet expectations. It helps to ask:

失望往往来自期待落空。不妨问自己：

What does satisfying sex mean to me?

对我来说，满意的性爱是什么？

For some men, focusing on their partner’s pleasure first can reduce pressure.

对部分男性来说，先专注于伴侣的愉悦可以减轻压力

Practical Strategies

实用练习方法

1. Stop-Start Technique

停止—启动法

Pause stimulation before climax. Wait for arousal to decrease, then resume.
快高潮时暂停刺激，兴奋下降后再继续

2. Squeeze Technique

挤压法：

Gently squeeze just below the head of the penis when close to ejaculation.

接近高潮时轻轻挤压龟头下方部位

3. Condoms

戴套

Condoms can reduce sensitivity and provide protection.
可以降低敏感度，同时避孕

4. Position Changes

变换体位

Switching positions or pausing briefly can lower arousal.
更换体位或暂停，有助于降低兴奋度

5. Pelvic Floor Training

盆底肌训练

Strengthening pelvic floor muscles can improve control over time.
增强盆底肌有助于改善控制力

6. Reduce Performance Anxiety

减少表现焦虑

Mindfulness and breathing exercises can reduce performance pressure.
正念练习与呼吸训练有助于降低紧张感

When to Seek Help

什么时候需要求助

If early ejaculation:

如果早泄：

• Happens consistently
• Causes distress
• Affects relationships
• Leads to avoidance of intimacy

• 持续发生
• 造成明显困扰
• 影响关系
• 导致回避亲密

It may be helpful to consult a doctor to rule out medical causes, and a sex therapist to address psychological and relational aspects.

建议咨询医生排除生理因素，同时与性治疗师探讨心理和关系层面

Final Thought

最后想说

Early ejaculation does not define your masculinity.

早泄并不定义你的男性气质

Sex is not a stopwatch competition.

性不是计时比赛

Confidence grows from communication, creativity, and emotional connection - not from duration alone.

自信来自沟通、创造力和情感连接，而不是单纯的时间长短