Actually, these questions are extremely common. As a professional, I regularly hear people say, “My partner doesn’t like using condoms. What should I do?”

其实，这些问题非常常见。作为专业人士，我经常听到有人抱怨：“对方不爱戴避孕套，我该怎么办？”

When I ask further, some men say things like, “I never used one with my ex,” “Condoms ruin the feeling,” “I go soft when I wear one,” or “We’ve already had a baby so we don’t need it.” There are all sorts of creative excuses.

仔细问下来，有的男生会说：“和前任都不戴套，从来没戴过”，“戴套影响体验”，“戴套就软”，“有了孩子就不用戴套了”，还有各种各样的理由

Some people also believe that once you’re in a committed relationship, condoms are no longer necessary.

有些人觉得一旦确认恋爱关系，就不需要戴套了

No. Let’s go through these one by one.

不，我们一个个来说

“I never wore one with my ex.”

“和前任从来不戴套？”

So what? Did he get tested regularly for STIs? Many sexually transmitted infections show no obvious symptoms. Someone can look perfectly healthy and still carry a virus.

那又怎样？你确定对方有定期做性传播疾病检查吗？很多性传播疾病在感染后没有明显症状，看起来健康，并不代表真的没有感染

Not using condoms in the past simply means both people were taking risks. That is what high-risk sexual behaviour means.

和前任不戴套，只能说明大家都在承担风险，这就是所谓的高风险性行为

You have every right to request condom use. You also have every right to say no.

你完全有权利要求对方戴套，也有权利说不

Even if STI tests are clear, condoms still prevent unintended pregnancy. Not everyone wants a surprise baby.

即便健康检查正常，避孕套依然可以预防意外怀孕。不是每个人都想面对突如其来的责任

“I’ve never worn one.”

“从来没戴过？”

Then learn.

那就学

Sex education exists for a reason. “I’ve never done it” is not a valid excuse.

性教育就是教这些的，“没戴过”不是借口

If someone doesn’t know how to use one properly, they can learn step by step. There is a correct method and timing for wearing condoms.

如果不会戴，可以慢慢学。戴套是有正确步骤和时机的

Using protection is not embarrassing. It is responsible.

做好安全措施，不丢脸，是对自己和对方的尊重

“Condoms kill the mood.”

“戴套影响体验？”

This is largely psychological. If someone constantly tells themselves that condoms ruin sex, the experience will likely feel worse.

很多时候这是心理作用。如果一直暗示自己“戴套就不爽”，体验自然会下降

Sex is not just penetration. Modern condoms are thinner and more comfortable than ever.

性爱不仅仅是插入。现在的避孕套技术已经很先进，更薄、更舒适

“I go soft when I wear one.”

“戴套就软怎么办？”

This is common, and often linked to anxiety.

这很常见，很多时候与焦虑有关

Overthinking the sensation or worrying about performance can create a negative cycle.

担心体验不好或表现不佳，容易进入负向循环

What can help?

怎么解决？

Practise wearing a condom during masturbation to get used to the sensation.

可以在自慰时戴套练习，让身体熟悉这种感觉

Add a small amount of lubricant inside the condom to improve comfort.

也可以在避孕套内加少量润滑剂，提升舒适度

Confidence builds with practice.

信心是可以慢慢建立的

“We’ve had a baby.” “She’s on the pill.” “I’m sterilised.”

“有了孩子／吃了避孕药／结扎了就不用戴套？”

No No No

这些说法不对哦

The pill and sterilisation prevent pregnancy, not STIs.

避孕药和结扎只能防怀孕，不能防性传播疾病

Condoms remain one of the most effective ways to reduce STI risk.

避孕套依然是预防性传播疾病的重要方式

While they do not prevent every single infection, they significantly reduce risk.

虽然不是百分百防护，但可以大幅降低风险

“Anal sex is safe without a condom.”

“肛交就没事？”

No.

不是

The anus is more fragile than the vagina. It has thinner tissue and is more prone to tearing, which increases infection risk.

肛门组织比阴道更脆弱，更容易破损，感染风险更高

Using a condom is even more important in this context.

在这种情况下，戴套更加重要

“Oral sex doesn’t need protection.”

“口交就不用戴套？”

That is also incorrect.

这也不对

Oral sex can transmit infections.

口交同样存在感染风险

Flavourless condoms or dental dams can make oral sex safer and more hygienic.

可以使用无味避孕套或口交膜，让口交更安全卫生

Secretly removing a condom

偷偷摘套？

That is a serious breach of consent. - Non-consensual condom removal, or "stealthing"

这是严重违反同意的行为 (stealthing)

Removing a condom without consent is not just disrespectful. In many places, it is considered sexual assault.

未经同意摘套，不仅不尊重，在很多国家甚至属于性侵犯

You deserve safety and respect. If someone ignores your boundaries, reconsider the relationship.

你值得被尊重和保护。如果对方无视你的界限，请认真思考这段关系

Condom use is not about mistrust. It is about health, safety and mutual respect.

戴套不是不信任，而是健康、安全和相互尊重

Protecting yourself is never selfish. It is responsible.

保护自己，从来都不是自私，而是成熟