What to Say When Kids Ask About Sexual Consent

孩子问我“性知情同意”，我该怎么回答？

I remember not long ago there was a public controversy about “one cup of milk tea equals sexual consent.” It sparked a lot of debate.

我记得前段时间有一个关于“奶茶等于性同意”的争议事件，引发了很多讨论

Behind that debate is a very real social issue: What is sexual consent? And how should parents explain it to their children?

这背后反映的是一个现实问题：什么是性知情同意？父母又该如何向孩子解释？

Today, I’ll walk you through some practical ways to respond when your child asks about consent.

今天，我来分享一些实用方法，当孩子问起“性知情同意”时，你可以如何回应

Consent

什么是性知情同意？

First, even if you feel you cannot give the “perfect” answer, that is completely okay.

首先，就算你觉得自己给不出“最完美”的答案，也没关系

Simply being willing to respond is already a strong and loving step.

只要你愿意回应孩子的问题，本身就是一个很好的开始

Avoid dismissing, shaming or shutting down their curiosity.

不要逃避，也不要打压孩子的提问

When you respond calmly, you show that their curiosity is valid and that you are a safe person to talk to.

当你平静地回应时，你是在告诉孩子：你的好奇是正常的，我是你可以信任的人

Practical Tips

实用小技巧

1. Choose the right moment

1. 选择合适的时机

If the timing is not ideal, for example you are in public or busy, you can say:

如果提问的时机不合适，比如在公共场合或你正忙，可以这样说：

“That’s a really good question. Let’s talk about it properly later, okay?”

“这个问题很好，我们等一下好好聊，好吗？”

The key is to actually follow up later.

关键是一定要记得之后再聊

2. Ask before answering

2. 先问再答

Instead of jumping straight into an explanation, ask what your child already knows.

不要急着解释，可以先问问孩子已经知道什么

For example:

例如：

“What have you heard about consent?”

“你听说过什么是同意吗？”

If you are unsure about something, model honesty:

如果你不确定答案，可以坦诚地说：

“I’m not completely sure. Let’s look it up together.”

“这个我不太确定，我们可以一起查查。”

This teaches them that learning is ongoing.

这也是在教孩子，学习是一个持续的过程

3. Understand why they’re asking

3. 了解孩子为什么问

Sometimes children ask because they heard something at school or online.

有时候孩子提问，是因为在学校或网络上听到了什么

You can say:

你可以这样问：

“That’s an interesting question. What made you think about that?”

“这个问题很有意思，你为什么会想到这个呢？”

This helps you understand their context.

这样你就能了解他们提问的背景

4. Encourage more questions

4. 鼓励继续提问

If your child asks follow-up questions, that is a positive sign.

如果孩子继续追问，这是好事

It shows they are thinking critically and feel safe talking to you.

这说明他们在认真思考，也愿意和你交流

Practical Example

实战举例

Child asks:

孩子问：

“Mum/Dad, what if someone has sex with another person without their consent?”

“爸爸妈妈，如果一个人没有给出同意，另一个人还和Ta发生性关系呢？”

Step 1: Affirm the question

第一步：肯定孩子的提问

“That’s a very important question.”

“这是一个很重要的问题。”

Step 2: Give a clear and simple answer

第二步：给出清晰简短的回答

“That is illegal. It’s never okay to do something to someone’s body without their permission.”

“那是违法的。没有得到对方的允许，绝对不能对别人的身体做任何事情。”

For younger children, you might say:

对于年纪较小的孩子，可以说：

“If someone is too young or doesn’t say yes, it can hurt them and is not allowed.”

“如果对方太小，或者没有说‘愿意’，那样做会伤害别人，是不允许的。”

Adjust the depth of explanation to your child’s age.

根据孩子的年龄调整解释的深度。

Then ask:

然后可以问：

“Does that make sense? Do you have any more questions?”

“这样你明白吗？还有想问的吗？”

Step 3: If you don’t know

第三步：如果不确定答案

“It’s a good question. I’m not completely sure, but we can find out together.”

“这是个好问题。我不太确定，我们可以一起查查。”

This models healthy learning and openness.

这也是在示范开放和持续学习的态度

Sex Education is About Teaching Love

性教育是爱的教育

When you teach consent, you are teaching your child how to respect themselves and others.

当你教孩子“同意”时，你是在教ta们如何尊重自己和别人

You are teaching them that their body belongs to them.

你在教他们，自己的身体属于自己

You are also teaching them that other people’s bodies deserve respect.

同时也在教他们，别人的身体同样值得尊重

Sex education is not about encouraging sex. It is about safety, boundaries, responsibility and care.

性教育不是鼓励发生性行为，而是关于安全、界限、责任和关爱

When done well, it helps children grow into confident, respectful and emotionally healthy adults.

当方式正确时，性教育能帮助孩子成长为自信、有边界感、懂尊重的成年人