Before You Start

练习开始前

Try these steps over the next two weeks.

请在接下来两周里尝试以下步骤

Write one example under each category for what you want, are open to, or wish to decline.

为每个部分写下一个你想表达、尝试或拒绝的内容

Choose one category per day for deeper discussion or exploration.

在某一天挑选一个分类进行深入交流或讨论

Focus on one thing at a time. It is easier to absorb and more likely to feel meaningful.

一次只说一件事，会更容易被听见，也更容易实践

What I Hope You’ll Do for Me

我希望你为我做的事情

What would you like your partner to do more of during intimacy? Longer kisses? Slower touch? More presence?

你希望对方在亲密时做什么？多亲吻？慢一点？更专注？

Example:

“I’d love it if you spent more time touching me before penetration.”
“我希望你在进入前多抚摸我一下。”

“I want you to kiss me in a softer way.”
“我想要你用更温柔的方式亲吻我。”

You can list more than one, but try to prioritise. Too many requests at once can feel overwhelming.

你可以列出多个，但建议排序。一次讲太多，效果反而不好

What I Want to Do for You (That Also Feels Good for Me)

我想为你做的事（并让我自己感到愉悦）

What would you like to offer that also brings you pleasure?

有什么事情是你愿意为对方做，同时自己也会享受的？

Example:

“I enjoy playing with your hair. It makes me feel close to you.”
“我喜欢拨弄你的头发，那让我觉得很亲密。”

“I’d like to rub my body against your back. It turns me on.”
“我想用身体摩擦你的背，那会让我觉得很性感。”

What I Want to Give to You (for Your Pleasure)

我想给予的（让对方愉悦）

What would you like to offer purely for your partner’s enjoyment?

你想为对方提供什么？什么会让对方开心？

Example:

“I think gently touching your chest could help you relax.”
“我觉得轻抚你的胸口会让你感到放松。”

“I’d like to give you oral sex because I enjoy seeing you feel good.”
“我想帮你口交，因为我喜欢看到你享受的样子。”

What I’m Open to Trying

我可以接受的事（愿意尝试）

These may not be your favourites, but you are willing to explore them slowly.

这些可能不是你最喜欢的，但你愿意慢慢尝试

Example:

“Thanks for suggesting the toy. I’m still getting used to it, but I’m open to trying.”
“谢谢你提议用情趣玩具。我还不太习惯，但我愿意试试。”

“I think I’m okay with exploring BDSM, as long as we take it slow.”
“我觉得我可以接受尝试 BDSM，不过我们可以慢慢来。”

If you are not ready, that is completely okay. You never need to force yourself into anything.

如果你还没准备好，也完全没关系。你不需要强迫自己接受任何事情

What I’d Like to Say No To

我不想要的事

Without the freedom to say no, sex cannot feel safe.

没有“说不”的自由，性爱就无法安全发生

Example:

“I don’t want to try that position. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”
“我不想尝试那个体位，因为我觉得不舒服。”

“It’s not that you’ve done anything wrong. I just don’t feel interested in that right now.”
“不是你不好，只是这件事我目前真的没有兴趣。”

Please express refusals gently, and if you are on the receiving end, try not to take it as rejection. A boundary is not criticism.

请温和表达拒绝，也请被拒绝的一方不要觉得自己被否定。拒绝只是界限，不是批评

What I’d Like to Share Emotionally or Physically

我想分享的感受

After sex, instead of simply turning off the light and going to sleep, you can talk about how you feel.

性爱之后，不只是关灯睡觉，也可以聊一聊彼此的感受

Example:

“What we just did made me feel really close to you.”
“刚刚的亲密让我觉得更靠近你。”

“Even though I didn’t orgasm, I still felt really good.”
“虽然我没有高潮，但我真的很开心。”